Black
by Natsushi
Summary: It was his fault, yet it was his benefit. Of course, he was the only one alive now that knew. And he would never tell. Sirius Black could never stand to see his best friend upset.


**Black**

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. The idea is an original, as is Riley.

* * *

_Sirius Black stared at the wall. The gray, horrid, putrid, stone-brick, 2m X 3m wall. Azkaban prison was not meant to be pretty, but at least they could pick something other than gray. Sirius shrugged, besides the aesthetics, he didn't mind it like the other prisoners, because he had something they didn't._

_He rifled under the straw mattress and pulled out some torn bits of newspaper. His most treasured possessions. Each of the pieces contained images of one person—the legendary Harry Potter. The Boy Who Lived. The son of his best friend. His godson. Harry. _

_There were several of them so old that they were yellowing and spotted. Of course, everything aged faster inside the gray stone walls. The pictures were no more than a decade old but already looked as old as Merlin's Scrolls. Some of the Moving Charm had already begun to fade from the earliest of them. That one taken with Harold and Gabriella Potter was barely moving anymore, and it looked as if Harry's grandfather was strangling him instead of handing him over to his parents._

_There were others that were much newer, finally, after a huge time gap. One contained a picture of Harry with a boy and a girl his age. They were next to a large mirror, and clearly at Hogwarts. Sirius smiled, running his finger over his godson's face. He looked like James. So much like James! And having adventures, too. If he closed his eyes, he could see himself standing back at the castle, planning adventures and mischief himself. Looking closer, he saw two green dots that made up Harry's smiling eyes. His mother's eyes, people would say. But alas, Harry's mother had not had those eyes since before…then. He hoped his eyes would stay smiling, unlike hers. The thought made Sirius a little guilty, and a little happy. It was his fault, yet it was his benefit. Of course, he was the only one alive now that knew. And he would never tell._

_Sirius Black could never stand to see his best friend upset._

*****Fourteen Years Earlier***_  
_**

It was the beginning of the spring term at Hogwarts. Sirius, then a sixth year, stepped off the train and onto the crunchy snow. "If I have to go to one more _pureblood_ gathering, I will personally _Avada Kedavra_ every one of them!" He yelled at no one in particular and kicked a snow bank, spraying a nearby group of first years.

"Watch it!" he yelled at them irately, grumbling "Stupid first-years need to bloody _move_…"

"Not a good holiday, I see," Remus Lupin walked up to him. He was looking slightly pale, and Sirius remembered that it was a full moon in two days' time.

He nodded in greeting, "Yeah. It was a blast. Of course it was not a good holiday Moony! I'm leaving first chance I get." He growled before catching sight of some students staring at them. "Anyway, how was Hogwarts while I was gone? Did the Marauder's leave this holiday memorable?" If one thing could make Sirius Black happy, it was a good prank…among other forbidden things.

Remus grinned, "Oh, you should see some of the things Wormtail came up with. He's up there now, as we speak. Prongs left the day after you did, so he didn't do much."

"What? Left where?"

"You didn't know?" Remus asked, as they walked up to the castle, "I thought he was just missing his puppy"—here Sirius punched him—"and went to keep you company."

"Nope. Haven't heard a peep from him. I thought-," The sight that greeted them in the Entrance Hall left both of them speechless. There was James, clearly taking apart what seemed to be a bucket of sludge and marshmallows, and _reprimanding_ Peter? All around people were talking, whispering, gossiping. What was going on? Since when did James Harold Potter ever break down a prank? Well, one that wasn't started by a Slytherin, anyway.

The next few weeks were torture for the Marauders. James had apparently taken the holiday to hop onto the straight and narrow. No more pranks, no more sneaking out, no more putting Slytherins in their place. Even Remus was starting to get annoyed, and he mostly followed the rules.

It wasn't until later January that the Marauders found out the reason for all this. Sirius had suspected, but James would never confirm his theories; although he did negate the ones about vampires, unicorns, spiked Firewhiskey, flesh-eating slug-mutants, Imperius Curses, and Dementors. Unlike the past 5 years, instead of throwing an obnoxious party with a million gifts for Lily Evans on her birthday, James just sent her one, normal gift. Like a _normal_ person. It hit Sirius like a Norwegian Ridgeback. James was going to be _normal_ for _her_. The depth of his best friend's feelings hadn't gotten through to him until then. He was serious about her as he was about breathing.

The next few months passed with James studying, working, and being…good. Eventually, he became less severe against Marauding. But when Sirius tried to scare Snivell—Severus Snape—by sending him to Werewolf-Remus, James _saved_ Snape, and had _Sirius_ sent to Dumbledore. This was a "disaster", as Sirius put it later that night.

But not for James. As it turned out, Lily was pretty easy to charm if you were "good". Plus, she was great to have around, not only did she help with homework, know a lot about helping werewolves (she was one of the only people to stick around after the Snape incident), and love deer _and _dogs, but she liked practical jokes that weren't directed at specific people. "The Marauders are back in business!" Sirius had run around screaming after Lily admitted this tidbit. She even helped them orchestrate his departure from Grimauld Place and the Black family idiots. After sixth year finals, she even agreed to go out with James. And everyone left and came back for their seventh year hunky-dory.

Apparently, Dumbledore saw a lot more "goodness" potential in James than Sirius, or maybe he liked to play matchmaker, who could tell with someone so old? Either way, James was made Head Boy to Lily's Head Girl. Everyone thought it was sweet. The Head Boy would walk around with the Head Girl with his arm around her shoulder, or they would hold hands while on patrol.

And then there was the catastrophe—Lily broke up with James on the 24th of October of their seventh year. She told him that she was glad to have gotten to know his "other side". She apologized for treating him meanly before, and harbored no ill feelings towards him. But, she decided that she didn't like him much more than a friend at this point.

Sirius had never seen such misery as James Potter with a broken heart. Even a Dementor would have been sad sitting with James. Lily hadn't known it, but James had picked out a ring over the summer, and was planning on asking her upon graduation. He didn't leave the dormitory for several days; it was all James could do to curl up under his covers, stroking the silver and diamond band with a tear-stained face.

James and Sirius had been together for more than six years. They were brothers from other mothers, actually, they were closer than brothers, thick as thieves, two peas in a pod. Or two peas in different pods that were from different mother-plants but the peas were as thick as thieves and very close together. _Anyway_ the point was, Sirius automatically felt upset and grouchy when James was distraught. Even seeing James mope over a prank gone wrong was enough to irritate him. And this was as bad as it had ever gotten, or (hopefully) was likely to get. It hurt to see his best friend like this.

"What do we do?" Peter whispered to Remus and Sirius on the fourth day after the break-up. They'd left James watching leaves blow through the window of their dorm, once again, an un-James thing to do.

"I don't know, Wormtail…" Remus sighed into his hands from the nearby couch. The trio were alone in the Gryffindor Common Room, as it was 3:00 a.m. "I just wish…we knew _why_…I know Lily, and she would never intentionally hurt someone like this. Something has to be up."

Sirius snorted, tossing some old parchment into the low fire. "Give it up, Moony. She dumped him, and he's gonna mope forever. Even if she agrees to get back with him, he's going to always, I dunno, be scared or something."

"You know," Remus said, "We could just ask her. We haven't tried that yet."

"Moony," Sirius sighed tryingly, "We've tried giving him illegal Bulgarian Goblinwine. And even then, the most he cheered up was enough to take a shower. Honestly, what can we possibly get from her?"

"Well, she's still our friend right?" Peter asked hesitantly, "I mean, just 'cause she doesn't like-like Prongs, doesn't mean that she doesn't not like him, right?"

Sirius gave his chubby friend a look, "I don't exactly see her coming here, wondering if he's okay."

"Hey, hey. She might not even _know_. All she knows is that he hasn't been coming out of the dorm— "

"And that it's probably her fault!" Sirius scowled.

"All right," Remus decided, ignoring Sirius. "Fine. First thing tomorrow, we ask Lily what's up. And if she will be willing to fix it up somehow."

Growling, Sirius stood up, "Why wait 'til tomorrow?"

"'Cause she's in the girls' dorm right now?" Peter suggested innocently.

"Humph. And we're _Marauders_. I can get into the girls' dorm easy." Sirius changed into his dog morph and trotted up the stairs.

"Sirius!" Remus hissed, "Don't—" But too late. He had already entered the girls' side, and since the barrier was pervious to animals of all genders, he passed through without being rejected. A few minutes later, a scuffling sound was heard as the shaggy dog returned, dragging with him a silently screaming Lily Evans.

Remus, slapping his forehead, stood up, "Calm down Lily! Hang on, I'll unhex you. Sirius put her down! _Down_I said!" he rushed over to the two, and counter-jinxed the Head Girl "Sorry. As you know, Sirius here is a bit rash."

"A _bit rash_?" Lily huffed, standing up and brushing herself off, "He's insane is more like it. What is going on, anyway? It's three in the morning and I have double Charms first thing." It was a miracle that she didn't start screaming at Sirius as soon as she had her voice back. Either a miracle or that she got used to Sirius, which was a miracle in itself.

Sirius morphed back to human, James had already told her everything, so there was no need to hide their Animagus selves from her. "Well, duh, why did you break up with James?" he asked her.

"Oh. I figured this would come up," she sighed sitting down on one of the comfy Gryffindor couches. The answer was simple, "Because he's too serious about me."

"What?" Remus blanched, "So you _broke up_ with him? What happened to talking out feelings?"

Lily ran her hands across her face, "We did. And I'll spare you the details, but I can see where this is going. He's serious. He cares. And yes, that's a good thing. But it honestly scares me. I don't think I can give him what he's asking of me, not now at least. I wouldn't be surprised to find out he had plans to ask me to marry him."

"How did you—" Peter started.

She shook her head sadly, "Since you're his friends, I know I sound like the bad guy, but I still like James. I really do. But when I told him that I just wasn't ready for something so…real, I guess. Not with NEWTs, the You-Know-Who business, and my Dad in the hospital. He kind of flipped out. Like if I'd told him I was half tree or something. So I told him that it would be better to stop where we were rather than risk getting even _more_ hurt later. And one thing led to another and here we are."

Sirius sighed into his hands. Okay. He could see her side of the story. James was intense. "Do you think you could tell him this? If he hears it from us, he'll think we're lying. We already told him that you were initiated into a secret society of Diricawl-worshipers, were pregnant, and Imperius-ed by Snape. Don't worry!" he added swiftly, seeing her horrified expression. "He knows those are all fake. I think."

Lily frowned, "Alright. Now?"

"The sooner the better, Lily," Remus said gently.

And so the redhead went upstairs to the boys' dormitory. After an hour, or maybe two, she came back out, and went to bed. The next day, James and Lily were back together as if nothing had happened. Well, almost nothing, they were both tired and teary-eyed. But everything seemed to be okay. Everything went back to normal. Pranking, Lily and James on dates, NEWTs studies…normal. Lily's father passed away in the spring. It was a harsh blow, especially since it was right before exams, but she admitted that having James there was good. He helped her come to terms with it.

But. Ah, the inevitable 'but'. A week and a half before graduation, Lily pulled Sirius aside. "I need to ask you something." They strolled through the grounds, looking to all the world as if they were discussing something as simple as graduation robes. Lily had gotten wind (from Frank Longbottom or Peter, no doubt) that James was planning on asking her _the_ question. Maybe not as early as graduation, but not too much later. Once again, Sirius understood both of their points of view. Lily and James loved each other, it was a simple fact. Even Lily would admit it. Lily, though, wasn't ready to commit because of all of the dangers. She wanted to save herself and others of heartbreak and vulnerability so they could focus on eradicating You-Know-Who. She was all for duty first. James wanted to cement commitments so that he always had someone there to comfort him and someone to comfort. He was looking to make solid relationships to combat all the shadiness and horror out there. He always put family first. Both were equally valid, but they were trying to make two opposites work together.

"…So what should I do?" she asked. They had wandered over to the Lake, one of her favorite thinking-spots. She didn't want to lose James, especially since both of them would be busy after Hogwarts. Lily was going into training as a Mediwitch, James to study under Aurors. Both of them were already recruited into Dumbledore's Order of the Pheonix, but how much time did that leave for them? If anything, it shortened both their lifespans by a considerable amount.

"Say yes." Sirius shrugged. "Your plans don't have to change. Only, you'd come home to a warm bed, someone who cares. Or you could just tell him yes to the engagement, and not get married 'til later."

"But that kind of life is so different." Lily whispered, "I don't think I'm ready to even think about it. I'm only eighteen!"

He bit his lip. "Sounds like you already made up your mind." And he had, too. Sirius had known since First Year that he would side with James, no matter what the cost.

"It's not that. It's that how can I not…do this, and yet…stay with James?" she struggled with her words. Lily knew that she was asking for the near-impossible. And Sirius knew Lily. Once she'd made up her mind, she would stick with it until the end until she was proved beyond a doubt wrong.

Sirius couldn't have that. Couldn't face James like that again.

Sirius Black couldn't bear to see his best friend upset.

"Are you sure you don't want to do this?"

"Now? Yes. Maybe in a few years, but…who knows?"

Sirius scanned the area around them. "I know. _Imperio_."

For a fraction of a second, Lily screamed. He could see the confusion, fury, surprise, in her eyes, hear it in that note from her voice. But then she was no more.

_You will go about your life as normal_. Two weeks later, she cheerfully accepted her degree and made a wonderful Valedictorian speech. Later that summer, after accepting an apprenticeship at St. Mungo's, Lily moved into her own apartment in London. Her contribution to the medical field and Order was stupendous. Her family and friends were proud.

_You will remain James' girlfriend and never communicate that _this_ occurred, to anyone or anything._ Lily's diary remained curiously blank. But her friends Alice and Riley never suspected a thing.

_When he asks _the_ question, you will say 'Yes'. You want to marry James, so you will be elated when he asks. _The wedding was grand; guests spoke of it and the beautiful couple for weeks afterwards. Only Sirius could see apprehension and fury in the bride's eyes.

_You will treat no one differently now than you did before. _A year later, an adorable baby Potter was born. Sirius let up a little power in the Imperius Curse after that. Lily wasn't cruel enough to wreck a family. And she did love James. Whether or not she liked the circumstances that brought them together—or Sirius, she would never like Sirius—that was where she was now, and she had come to accept it.

However, he couldn't just remove the Curse. After being under it for so long, it had probably affected her somehow. Sirius hadn't exactly paid attention in Defence Against the Dark Arts when they had learned about long-term Curse effects. Besides, if he removed it, James would learn of it, and how could Sirius let him learn that he only had a family because of a Curse? Because Lily had been forced to marry him, and Harry was a child of that force? It was a choice Sirius had made, and he knew that he couldn't let up now. Or ever. Harry, especially, must never know.

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A/N: I wrote up half of this a LONG time ago, and then I found it last night. It's not usually my cup of tea, but I like it. Please R&R! Let me know how I can make it better!


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